Immigrants

You know what really grinds my gears??? Immigrants! They come into this country, most of them illegally, don’t learn the language, don’t assimilate to American culture, and they take jobs and opportunities away from Americans. Most of them are criminals that take advantage of our welfare system without paying any taxes; being a drain on the U.S economy. They are a burden on our school systems, a burden on our healthcare system, and a burden on our society as a whole. This country is at war and a weak U.S. border enforcement has led to our enemies crossing our borders illegally. The war on terrorism can be won through immigration restrictions and tougher punishments for those breaking the laws. Go back to your country, we don’t want you here, stop taking American jobs, American jobs for American workers.  As moronic as this might sound, this is exactly what a number of Americans believe; in addition, what really grinds my gears, this is just how a vast group of our politicians think as well. As illogical, idiotic, foolish, unwise, and another one hundred synonyms I can find to describe these ridiculous claims, one of the things that made this country great is freedom of speech; so let these fools say what they want; I’m going to use my first amendment right, however, combined with facts, to address those concerns and show these people how wrong they are.

For starters, (this is where I say a few words that are rated X.) Secondly, let an illegal, illiterate, unassimilated immigrant like me, who takes American jobs, explain to you how enormously wrong you are. Immigrants are the backbone of this country and if you don’t agree with that statement, this is where you should stop reading. This blog will only annoy you. Being and immigrant and being an entrepreneur are somehow connected. We come to this county for a better life and for more opportunities; thus, once those opportunities arise we take them, driving to fulfill the American dream. Let me give you some data: The Kauffman Foundation reports that immigrants are twice as likely as people born in America to start a business. “Immigrants are filing patents at a two-to-one ratio [compared to] American-born.” “Immigrants are more likely to have advanced degrees than American-born.” In Silicon Valley, half of the tech companies were founded by immigrants. In Ohio, that rate is about 14 percent. It’s 17 percent in Indiana, 27 percent in Illinois and 33 percent in Michigan. Nationwide, 40 percent of today’s Fortune 500 companies were founded by immigrants, or the children of immigrants.

Contrary to popular belief, we pay taxes too, whether income, property, sales, or other. As far as income tax payments go, sources vary in their accounts, but a range of studies find that immigrants pay between $90 and $140 billion a year in federal, state, and local taxes.  Even undocumented immigrants pay income taxes, as evidenced by the Social Security Administration’s “suspense file” (taxes that cannot be matched to workers’ names and social security numbers), which grew $40 billion between 1990 and 2012.  In study after study, the data all points in one direction: Immigrants create more jobs than they take, and bring in 20 times more revenue than they take in public benefits. (Unless the study was conducted by an anti-immigration group)

You don’t have to go far to see exactly what I am talking about. Look at me! Ten years ago my family and I came to this country with nothing but a bank account full of dreams.  My mother and father left jobs that carried both high status and pay in Albania to work low-skilled, low-paying jobs in the U.S., while enduring countless verbal abuse and societal neglect by a group previously mentioned.  Almost every immigrant I know has its own business or plans to open one; others have a bachelor, masters or even doctoral degree and have contributed to this county in more ways than one. Don’t punish us - embrace us. We don’t take American jobs, we create them.

Albanian history

You know what really grinds my gears??? Albanian history! The lies that have been told about Albanian history! Here I stand, an educated 27 year old with the power of internet and unlimited sources of information on my side; yet, I still don’t know the truth about my history. Therefore, as a native Albanian, I am going to use outside attribution to explain this handicap. There is a famous quote: “Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.” As lions, kings of the wild, we have been hunted by coward hunters wanting nothing but our extinction; nonetheless we survived, carrying our customs and values from the wound to the grave, passing it from mother to child like breast milk vital to our survival. With an Illyrian soul, I stand in my land for centuries, deeper rooted than the Balkan peaks themselves, yet the world ignores me and treats me like a stranger, stripped of my identity, denied of my history. An autochthone, a fossil that lies where once heroes marched the land, is now an unwanted face in its home. While at this point you are thinking: “there you go again, another radical Albanian blaming everyone else but themselves” I want to assure you that this is not a blame game, nor is it a call for sectarian violence. It is simply a byproduct of Westernized education blended with 3500 years of oppression, slander, and history manipulation.

Our neighbors to the south are a big part of this tragedy. A nation that we helped build throughout the centuries has done nothing but deny our history and tell it as their own. I don’t want to change their history, I want to change ours; the lion finally got a historian. In a world where Greeks do everything in their power to eliminate anything that was or is Albanian, including Alexander the Great, we should do the exact opposite. Teach our children the history written from the eyes of a lion and not from an agenda carrying hunter. For example: apart from a few inscriptions and fragments, texts written by people who actually knew Alexander or who gathered information from men who served with Alexander were all lost; yet, it is widely accepted that the name Alexander is derived from the Greek "Αλέξανδρος" (Aléxandros), meaning "defending men."  Or so says the hunter.  The Lion, on the other hand, says that the name is derived from the Albanian word of "A LE KI SI ANDERR." Born like a dream. After all, his mother was an Illyrian princess so it is totally plausible that this is the truth. One would be a fool to think that the Greek authorities at the time destroyed books depicting Alexander as Illyrian just to come up with a fictional character that supported their ethnocentric views (Wink wink). I’m not saying this is true, nor do I care.  No one from that time still lives to tell the story, and no one spoke to Olympia about the origin of the name in order to document this, therefore everyone is hypothesizing. Greeks just lied before we did. So now should be our time for propaganda and tell it like we see it.

Albanian was a spoken language, didn’t have an alphabet and written quality until later in its history; therefore, they used Greek letters. Greek historians claim this to be the fact that proves the whole Illyrian territory (ethnic Albanian) was once Greek territory. They claim that cities, cradle to modern civilization like Butrinti and Byllis, were once Greek cities because of the architecture and writing in the walls. With that thought, the whole world was once Arab since we are using Arab numbers. Now it all makes sense; have you been to Dearborn lately? People there are not immigrants, they are Arabs that remain from when US was Arabia. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Like those individuals that tell lies for so long that after a while they start to believe them; the Greeks truthfully believe their history, and so they should. I actually don’t care about what they believe in, that is not what this is all about. I care about what we believe in. I care what the rest of the world believes in; and, I care about what our children believe in.  Let’s teach the world another version of history, our history, before Skanderbeg becomes half Greek half Serbian. (I shit you not, that is what they believe.) What’s next Greeks, are you going to claim Mother Theresa? 

Gay marriage

You know what really grinds my gears??? Gay marriage!  Lack thereof I should say. Day in and day out I hear these conservative blind folks talk about the sanctity of marriage and how it should only be between a man and a woman. And, although I believe this is the same train of thought that persecuted the Jews as well as enslaved the Blacks, I'm willing to respect their first amendment. I lust have some questions: What about the man and the woman who just met, and with $1000 worth of tequila in their stomachs, get married by a guy who looks like Elvis? Is that OK? What about a wealthy man who needs two little blue pills to keep it up and a gold digging woman who has more boob than brain? Is that Ok? And what about Kim Kardashian's  phat ass? (And that's all I have to about that). While these marriages are perfectly legal and happening every day; in this country, two people who truly love each other and want to spend the rest of their life together can't because of their sexual orientation.  Sanctity of marriage my ass! Newt Gingrich, the guy who wants to be our next president, has cheated on two of his previous wives and the second time with the woman that is now his third. I am sure god approved of this.  Gay people have the right to create a family and make someone's life miserable just like the rest of us. They have the right to bitch at someone they love for leaving the toilet seat up just as much as the rest of us. They have the right to raise children that will turn out to hate them during adolescent years just as much as rest of us.  And more importantly, their marriages have the right to a high divorce rate just like the rest of the population.  This is not a gay rights issue, this is a human rights issue; and, do not get me started on Proposition 8. If civil rights were voted on by the masses, a third Bush would be president and Obama would still be sitting at the back on the bus.

Chilidogs at Lafayette Coney Island

You know what really grinds my gears??? People who insist that the Chilidogs at Lafayette Coney Island are “the best in the world.

After the 2011 North American Auto Show, a couple of my closest friends and I decided to give it a taste.  I had heard the hype around this culinary masterpiece and I had to try it. What kind of a Detroiter would I be if I didn't? Lafayette Coney Island and its famous Chilidogs were featured on Man vs. Food, and being a fan of the show combined with a love for the City of Detroit was a combination I couldn’t resist.  We walk in and we were instantly greeted by a smell that my nose had trouble recognizing and my synapses trouble deciding if it was good or bad. The place was friendly and people there seemed delighted to overpay for a chilidog. We sat down at the counter 2 ft. away from the guy doing the dishes, a process that I would call bathing rather than washing. The counter stool I sat  down was too small for my medium (large in some cultures) ass and too close to the floor.  Our water came quick in tiny glasses that told me two things:  one, they don’t want us there for an extended period of time; and two, they don’t like washing dishes. Regardless, I wasn’t going to let anything prevent me from having an orgy of cheese and chilly inside my oral cavity. Pictures of famous people lined the walls; this Coney had to be good. “Two and one” the waiter yelled to the cook after placed my order. Only a few minutes later a plate with two sloppy chilidogs and a small plate of double dipped fries stared me in the face. Mediocre at best; absolutely nothing special, a disgrace to the status it held and everyone that has ever bragged about it. We overplayed and left vowing never to return. Maybe I don’t understand American Culture I said to myself so I asked for the opinion of “white people” (I will explain what I mean by the term white people in future blogs).  One of them said what I believe everyone else was thinking: I have to admit, I only like them, because it is cool to like them.