You know what really grinds my gears??? Feminism; to be exact, feminism as understood by American women! Before I go any further, I would like to warn you about the contents of this blog. I’m not going to offend anyone of course (not on purpose anyways); however, I will express my full opinion as understood and believed from someone who grew up in a partial patriarchal society. For starters let me assure you that I am not some chauvinistic, woman hating type who believes that women should not be educated and their only duties are child barring and house chores. I just believe that the new feminist movement has gotten it very wrong. Myself, I have the utmost respect for women, especially strong minded, motivated women, taking action and leading in their communities, careers as well as their homes. Most women in my family are educated and strong willed. Even the woman I chose to spend my life with is not some trophy wife; she is a tough, inspired, and independent woman who does not need, but want me. This is what grinds my gears, it is not women and their success, nor is it the status they deserve; what grinds my gears are these leftist, young women who take a few “women studies” classes and take it to an extreme: hating everyone, including other women, who do not agree with their insane, radical idealism. This goes as far as calling people names and accusing them of being hateful toward women. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Well I’m here to tell you, 20 something leftist feminist: You got it backwards. Feminism is about choice, and last time I checked, women don’t have a lot of it. So, stop fighting with your man over who is going to do the dishes, rather, start fighting with these politicians over who is going to decide what you do with your body. Don’t get me wrong, in today’s society women have more power than they have ever had; however, they are not fully free and independent. Sure they can become community leader, CEOs or even President of the United States; but they still don’t have full control over their most private and intimate decisions. They still don’t have a full choice over when, where, and how to use their bodies. That is why I believe women are fighting the wrong causes.
Let me give you an example: A while back a woman sued her employer because she had just given birth and her employer did not provide her with a room where she could pump her breast milk. Fair enough, there should be a room where a woman can safely and privately pump her breast milk into a bottle. NOOOOTTTT!! THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. Rather than fighting for the right to be a mother, the right to nurture a child this woman had just brought to life, she sues for something like this? Why fight for a room to pump your milk into a bottle when you can fight for the right to instill life directly into your baby’s mouth. Now comes the counter point: “What about her career?” “Maybe she wants to be a career woman!” This is why I believe that the feminist movement in America got it wrong. Why can’t women do both? Why does it have to be one or the other? Why would a woman’s job be in jeopardy if she DECIDES to be a mother and DECIDES to stay home with her infant, at least until the baby is still breast feeling. This will contribute to a bond between mother and child that will last a lifetime. Not to mention the nutritional benefits. These rights are standard in Europe and Canada yet not in America; however American women claim to be the most emancipated women in the world. American women’s idea of equality is a man who does the dishes and cleans the house. Yet they allow the government to insert a 9 inch probe into their vaginas before they CHOOSE to have an abortion. (This is a law in Virginia, look it up)
I’m here to defend men and to tell some women to wake up. Stop fighting against being a woman. Stop fighting your maternal instinct and your true nature simply because you believe that men will respect you less. Be a career woman if you choose, but don’t think less of a woman who decides to stay home and raise her children. Be a woman that does not cook and clean for her family, but don’t think less of women that take pride in spoiling their husbands and families. Fight for your right to be equal to men, but not so hard that you lose your femininity in the process. Embrace what makes you a woman, a creature of soft skin and softer voice, of healing touch and loving heart. Be the neck that moves the world. But until you believe that you don’t have to wear a man suite to be a leader of men, you will never be truly free and equal. You can lead even with stilettos on.
In a Bizarro World, where men were biologically capable of giving birth, there would be a law demanding employers to allow men to stay home and raise their babies. And I guarantee you that we would only work 3 out of 4 weeks.
"Fight for your right to be equal to men, but not so hard that you lose your femininity in the process." - it's such a powerful sentence.
ReplyDeleteWomen should thing harder to fight for the right causes as you said. Fighting for equality to men is so general and many aspects of it can be very harmful to a relationship between a man and a woman. What is happening in the American society is that women in search for their equality to men are causing a dimasculinity in males. This is destroying the polarity between a man and a woman that keeps a relationship together. Many woman say how there is no good guys anymore but the truth is that there is plenty of good guys, but it is not what they really mean or want by that. There is plenty of good guys who would do anything for a women that they love but that is not gonna cut it if they are not a real man. IF there is a woman that disagrees with the sentence i said, then they might as well go marry an other woman because it would be the same. What women mean is there is no good MEN anymore. What has caused that is the women striving for equality to men in every are of their life or relationship. A woman does not have to make the male change the dipers of the baby in search for her equality. The woman can do those things as it relates to her feminine qualities of motherly care. The male can just stick to fixing broken things in the house, fixing the car, cutting the lawn, providing security and stability. The equality that need to be searched in this department is for equal appreciation of each-others duties. A woman has the choice to be a woman and help their husband be the best man he can be, which will result in a very strong relationship and a strong polarity in the sexual sector too. Or a woman can choose the card of "equality" and make a man change dipers, clean the dishes, feed the kids, and make them a great house wife, meanwhile demasculinizing their man and making them a wuss.
I guess what I was trying to say is the idea or Equality vs. Equity. We should not distribute everything equally ONLT for the fact of being equal. For example: I have one, you have none, than we get four. Rather than dividing it in half, I get two you get two, I take one, and you take three. I do this because two is all I need. I don’t want three. By giving me two you would be doing me a disfavor. WE would be equal because we divided everything equally however I wouldn’t be happy because I have this added burden that comes from having three. Same idea I wanted to portray about the relationship between a men and a woman. Equity is more important than equality for the sake of equality. We each do what we are best at and we share the burden of the rest. Hope I made sense.
ReplyDeleteYes you did make sense. The last sentence you said got across the main idea of the example you were describing. I agree with you. Instead of dividing everything, things should first be divided on what each individual does best and then as you said share the burden for the rest. In addition to this idea appreciation of the other person's share of work also plays a key role. If person A believes that person B is not putting that much effort compared to what A is putting in, then there will be tension created that would have to eventually lead to an equilibrium or result in the end of the relationship in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the blog post, a lot of energy is focused on the wrong things, and making sure things are "tit for tat." I really don't care about laws making it illegal for men to whistle at women...but I do care when I'm doing the same job as a man and get paid 77 cents on the dollar. Labor economics says it's because we have a shorter time to build a career since we have to take time off to make babies. Great way to appreciate women.
ReplyDeleteAlso, It's not emasculating if a guy changes diapers or helps out his wife, just like it's nothing bad if the wife makes a sandwich if he is tired (the "make me a sandwich" phrase always makes me laugh lol. Yes, you can be a career woman and make a sandwich.) But as far as the threats to masculinity that were listed - you guys will see when you'll have a child. The complexes you have right now about "let me do what is masculine, and you do what is feminine" will seem very silly when you'll be facing true responsibility. My dad has told me that becoming the father of a girl completely changed his view on life. He told me that he started helping my mom out because he saw things like they really were: he understood that, manhood is not what you do, is who you are. So, when my mom would get sick, he would make dinner for us (or attempts to, but it's the thought that counts lol), and when I'd get sick as a child, he would put that "nape me raki" over my forehead. It didn't make him any less of a man, just a better father.
you have a good point Ioannina, especially about how masculinity is about the: you are and not what you do but who you are that makes a man, and also the examples with your father are totally right and how it should be, i am not saying that you are a man if when ur wife is tired or sick for you not to help her with the house work or cooking and stuff like that, for the husband to expect not to do those is definitely not a quality of a true man but rather the quality of a parasite/leech, what i am saying is that men are much more suited to taking care of the cars and heavy lifting and fixing broken stuff in the house, where as on the other hand the women are better suited to take care of the children, do some cleaning and cook a nice meal for everyone in the house, and as i agreed with Erizon, i do what i can do best and comes easy to me and the wife for example does what she can do best and what comes easy to her and the rest we help each other out, thats where your father's cooking come into place and helping ur mother with some of the housework if its to much for her to handle, i am sure ur mom would not want to go and lay under the car doing an oil change or cutting down a tree with an axe, as i am i sure ur dad would not want to choose to wipe the dust out of stuff in the house, what i was getting in my comment above is that because of searching for equality some women are taking it to far and demanding that the husband does the dust cleaning half of the time when some of those times he could be out there doing maintenance on the cars
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